ilikethewind

I don't want to hear you say you're sorry.
I want to hear you say you want me.
Because the way in which I feel you is so undeservedly pure.
It's not the pain you dealt that's holding me back.
It's the way you said you didn't want me anymore.
Not with your lips.
But with you...

And I haven't worn your shirt in nearly a week
So right now
To me
That looks like a win. 

You can hide behind your religion;
but I know God too.
And how you treat me is not how He would treat you.

Every word that's left your mouth reminds me why I love my version of God.
And why I dispute everyone else's version of religion.

Organized religion reminds me of or...

Mostly I feel sorrow for all the things we will miss out on sharing together.
The plans. The list. The things I know we would have not only accomplished; but accomplished well.

Because I'd love to learn to climb from you, see some of your favorite rocks in the world an...

And it seems half the world is telling me how much you care.
But if you cared we wouldn't be here.
You would have given me the space to talk. To grow.
You would have given yourself the space to be open.
To try.
Because when you care about someone, you show up. When it's...

Oh my.

My heart hurts. 

But it is not the deepest kind. 

My heart has hurt much worse, and I've only come out more alive. 

More capable of love.

More understanding of the value of life. 

So oh my; my heart hurts. 

But still, I will rise. 

I will take up space. 

Because I deserv...

Sometimes you need to heal in the arms of another

Someone who shows you the kind of love you worked so hard to receive from someone else,

Effortlessly.

And

Sometimes you need to heal in the arms of an artist.

Because they know pain. They know beauty.

They know process and st...

Sometimes I don't know how to connect with people unless they've felt real pain. 

And sometimes, I run from anyone with wounds; so afraid their bravery might just open my weakness back up. 

It's a tricky thing; healing. 

Just when you think all the work is done 

-more show...

One thousand poems rush my head every time you crack my heart open. 

And they are beautiful. 

But tonight;

I wish I did not have a reason to write.

I am the kind of woman that men break oceans to love. 

But I don't want oceans. 

I don't want men. 

I want the happiness that I have always been.

And here you are with your words

Putting my happiness right out.

But

I like the way you wash my hair for me,

with your deep lips p...

I could never bring a child into a world with so much pain

And people say, but my world is happy. I can give happiness to them. 

And I know that. That your world is happy. That you will only give them the happiness you know. 

But I am twenty one. And my world is not my pa...

You will never be good enough for the people who do not first allow you the space to show up

and try. 

Accept it. And let it go. There are people who will see entire lifetimes in your eyes.

And there are people who will not. It is not your job to convince them.

It is ce...

I jumped feet first 

fully clothed 

off a cliff at sunset.

Crashing into the ocean with you by my side. 

And as we held each other in the waves while the sun kissed the horizon,

I realized that this dive-in feeling applied to more than jumping off cliffs. 

July 3rd. On risk.

I miss sleeping in next to you. The way we move together

half asleep in the morning

light dancing through the blinds.

Matching each other like puzzles pieces.

Groaning soft sounds back and forth, a sleepy communication that we are neither ready yet to greet the world. 

B...